Wednesday, January 9, 2013

At some times, I will be turned down
"I'm upset", is all I will think
But that time, will not be the first
It will also not be the last
That time is the reminiscent of the past
Something that happened over, and over, and over again

Sure, "I am upset"
I said that too for so many times
And I know what comes next
I will rise and shine again
And I will say, "I survived."
That too, I have said over, and over, and over again.
And I will say it again.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Sesawang dan hehabuk


Alhamdulillah the semester ended well. My wish was granted alhamdulillah. *Ada subjek ni, first dengan second midterm dapat D. Jumpa professor talked to him about my grade, prayed a lot, and more effort than sebelum tu, pulled off the last exam with a C and the professor gave me a C for overall grade. :D

Rasa pretty good pasal kerja jugak, and looking forward to apa nak buat masa winter break ni. :DD

Monday, December 3, 2012

Hello December


December 2012, detik bermulanya countdown pengakhiran fall semester, detik bermulanya countdown ke hujung tahun 2012. Saya terdengar lagu 'Beautiful Lies' by Juwita Suwito, OST Gol & Gincu. (bukak trailer tu trailer ni, bukak trailer Gol & Gincu). Lagu ni/movie ni mengingatkan saya dengan tahun 2009, specifically fall 2009. It was a raining season. In between psychology and drama classes. Emo tak stabil jugak ambik dua2 kelas tu. Masa tu duduk dorm. Seperti biasa, saya tak bergaul sangat dengan orang. But I had a good friend, who listened very well despite not understanding a single thing I was saying. Those were good times.

Jadi bulan December terakhir saya kat sini remarks the end of fall. I won't be able to 'feel' my first semester again. Yang tinggal cuma memori, but my brain gets rusty over time. And vivid memories will eventually become blurry. So semua2 tu buat saya rasa a bit nostalgic. Sebelum fly dulu ummi cakap, pejam celik sekejap je dah 4 tahun. 4 tahun tu dah nak sampai... How time flies...

:piccas from fall 2009

Dweeb -___-!

With my ex-roommate

My first snow

Gol & Gincu. Drama. YM Doodle. First snow.
They all remind me of my first semester.

Lepas ni post untuk last semester lagi sadis je...

Monday, November 19, 2012

Elergi Sepi


I'm planning to see a doctor when I go back. More specifically, dermatologist. I have like super problematic skin. When I was little, umi said the skin on my head berkutillll -__- and thus I had to like cut all my hair (I think?). And like once every two years, starting from when I was 15, I would get allergies everywhere. Dari tangan ke badan ke muka, tak tau punca pun. Masa tu tak makan apa pun. Pun kena. Probably allergic to habuk/angin/sejuk/stress. Then dapat surat jumpa dermatologist tapi tak jumpa2 hehehe. So last two years kena lagi, kat US! Tau la medical kat US cekik darah banyak. So beli ubat allergic kat farmasi je. Tak tau working ke tak. I had this medicine that works immediately for me, nama dia xyzal. Tapi ni memang ubat dadah punya, doktor tak bagi ambik lebih 1 papan.

So dah tak allergic lama dah. Then baru ni, tangan macam semacam tau. Kulit macam kerak tanah dah. Ingat kot sebab sejuk, kulit kering. Tapi kelompok dia macam dekat satu kawasan je. Then baru ni tiba2 ada start 'patch' kecik baru kat jari manis. Then yang dekat jari manis tu macam makin besar patch dia. Lepas tu ada macam air gatal kecik tu. This post sounds kinda geli sikit haha. But google, then I found a picture of about similar to my hand condition. Allergies to latex/eczema something. So tak tau la, nak balik. haha.

I also have allergies to loneliness. I'll post things I don't mean, eat when I'm not hungry, and shop things I don't need. Fufufu~

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

A week before Thanksgiving holiday :D


*Random here and there all random ALL*

Recently, I've been rather... Negative. I don't know what's bugging me. My emotions are all tangled up on everything for no reason. I even hate the online novel that I so love. Just because, I keep on mocking in myself that the story's not true, and all the sweet lovey dovey stuff, I don't see that in anyone's marriage after 5 years. It's not always 'sugarly' sweet. So I feel like I'm reading some made-up story that I wish would happen to me but no, it might not happen to me.

Also, I have a lot of things going on (academic things that have due dates :\). Apparently I can't stay awake after 7:00 pm I don't know why. Maybe because of winter? So a lot of things get postponed. Not good. I'll try to improve on that insyaAllah, and get things done asap.

I also somehow get obsessed again with skin and pimple. I don't have like clean smooth skin. I used to have serious pimple problem, eventually I became the 'tester' for a lot of products to see which one works. I found one though, so adik2 semua tak payah testing2 dah pakai apa kakak pakai je. Introducing --- Dalacin T!! It worked for about 2,3 years for me, and probably my skin got immuned to that so I stopped using it completely. And.... The pimples came back. But usually only one or two at a time.
--> Conclusion: I started using it again.

Jalan-jalan for Thanksgiving break yeayyy :D I'm planning to visit Williamsburg, a place where the residence wear a certain era's clothing. Renaissance era? O.o Haha entah. Yes, that. Anddd... Black Friday shopping. I'm planning to pick out some things for umi and my sisters, and probably nothing for me. Because... Maybe because I don't really mind branded stuff, as long as it's beautiful and economical. Hopefully I can find some stuff for close friends circle untuk bawak balik soon insyaAllah.

Scrap previous wishlist. I have 2 handbags that I rarely use, and a phone/ipod with time on it so I don't need 60 dollars watch for now. Told you I'm economical.

*Before I started becoming very gloomy and angry for this semester:

Sunday, November 11, 2012



There are things that I hate. One that I can't withstand is, waiting. I'm usually punctual. I tried to be, so selalunya kalau tak punctual tu... Adalah something sebab musabab or actually malas pun nak buat something tu. So bila kita punctual but orang lain tak punctual, kita diam je, sengih macam takde apa2 jadi. Padahal dalam hati sepanjang menunggu macam nak meletup. I hate, hate waiting.

So recently I cancelled a meeting with a friend, sebab dia lambat. I was mean, rasa serba salah jugak bila buat macam tu. But I guess bila orang tu lambat2, macam half-hearted. Kita tak sedih pun. Lebih macam, if you're late/half-hearted, then I don't even bother. So, forget it. Ego macam abah.

Kesimpulannya. It's not nice making someone wait. If you make me wait and I haven't cancelled whatever urusan kita, know that I'm already half-hearted too.


Monday, November 5, 2012



Semalam kita scroll2 page JCPenney... Rasa macam dah habis selongkar dah part handbag and accessories. Tak minat sangat tengok part baju2 seluar2 etc. Jadi jumpa ni, nak sangat8 cantikkkk:

Tie no. 2 dengan 3:

No. 1:

Hm.. telan liur tengok jela. >__<